“The Power”

This is the book, by Rhonda Byrne, I am reading right now.  I have already read “The Secret.” For anyone that isn’t familiar with the idea in these books they are about the law of attraction- whatever you do, feel or think is creating your future. Focusing on the things that are negative in your life (even by saying that you do NOT want them) will bring more of this negative around because you are giving your energy to it so it will materialize in your life.

While reading the pretty new (at least in estonian) book “The Power” I started thinking about how it applies to dog training. What are the principles of positive reinforcement training? The key is to emphasize what you DO want and ignore and prevent what you DON’T want. In dog training (well, at least in good dog training) there are always tips going around about how to control your negative emotions, try to catch good behaviour to praise and make a big deal out of it and even when dealing with pysical or verbal corrections there is the reminder of not being emotional about it and get back on the right track of stressing the positive and the correct behaviour, not dwell on the wrong one. Be it coincidence or be it completely true but this is all what Rhonda Byrne is writing about. Visualizing what your goal is and being confident it will happen, giving love and good emotions all the time to create the future of your dreams.

I have to admit that I have swinged from one end of the dog training method spectrum to the other. I am the child of old school training. I had my first classes under a trainer who I later saw using terrible (and completely counterproductive!) “methods” on his own dog. Then I moved along to getting softer and softer, finding the concepts of clicker training. This route starting working beautifully for me until I got a new dog- a 1 year old doberman with no training and little socialization. It started out fine but once she got really dog agressive, I was way over my head with nobody to turn to for advice (I did but I didn’t get something productive). Clicker didn’t help me at all here so I turned to the only thing I found that helped and it was NOT pretty. But I got my fear dog agressive dog under control. By that time I had been convinced (by myself as well as others) that clicker is a nice thing but very limited with certain types of dogs.

I’d rather not really remeber all the wrong I did at that time but other than getting my roaring beast under some sort of control, it was not going too well for us. One day my dear friend (who has nothing to do with dog training other than being my friend what sort of makes you know a thing or two about it) told me that do I know that my dog doesn’t like me.  She undubtedly loves me but she doesn’t like me. This was a turning point. Then and there I promised to change for the better of my dog.

I did. I am still changing today, years from that moment. What I have found out has been pretty much along the lines of what Rhonda Byrne is preaching. I have found out so much I didn’t know back then and I often apologize to my dog, who is now a 6,5 year old lady sleeping right next to me on the bed as I write this, for treating her the way I did. I have gone more and more torward reward based and the relationship has improved amazingly. It will probably be what it could have if I had known what I know now but I think it is better to be lost and then improve rather than just be lost and happy with it (as so many are). I am still not a purely positive trainer but the positive correction part of my training has gotten rare and progressively less intense and it is much more thought through.

Another coincidence maybe but it was about the same time that I heard about “The Secret.” It wasn’t out as a book yet but it was a movie that too changed the way I think. Not right away. Well, you have to be suspicious about these sort of things, right- well come on! How it is possible that I myself have created the mess I am in? Not possible! And how should I give up all the self-rewarding whining and self pity?

But what if these things are not just a coincidence? What if the law of attraction actually works? What if I had seen that there is a wrong in my ways and attracted a moment that made me change? What if I were already attracting better ways because I knew my dog deserved better? What if the law of attraction REALLY does work? What would we change?

We probably would stop whining about how we are such bad trainers and how we can’t do this or that or our dogs are not capable for this or the other. We would stop obsessing about what is wrong and start focusing on solutions to better. We would stop getting angry and frustrated with our dogs. We would stop getting angry and frustrated with ourselves! We would start being supportive of others (even the ones we don’t like that much) and not too hard on ourselves either. We would start seeing the strenghts instead of seeing the weaknesses and faults. We would stop being petty, vindictive and just plain mean and not just to peoples faces but also behind their backs and even in the privacy of our own minds.  It is not always easy- wallowing in the pity of ourselves and others with the possibility to place the blame on the cruel world is sometimes just too comfortable and homey to just give it up like that just because some lady wrote it in a book.

But at the end does it even matter if the law of attraction works the way it is said it does? If we just make the change in our own minds isn’t it already making our lives a whole lot better? Imagine a world where we bounce back all reasons to be sad, irritated or angry? Where you make an effort to really notice all things you are grateful for? Where you really try to be happy ALL THE TIME with no secret sadness allowed? Wouldn’t this in itself make our lives so much better? Wouldn’t this make it worth the while to reallyreally try?

Maybe just do it. Just make yourself believe the law of attraction works. Live by it. And after you have done non-stop happy for a whole month straight only preaching health, abundance and joy (no cheating inyour thoughts and NO excuses for being sad or mad!)  then think to yourself- am I happier now than I was a month ago? t is not as simple as it sounds to not let any negative thoughts in through the window that has been opened so wide all this time but does it really matter how long it takes to get a whole month straight? I haven’t. But I can honestly say that the moment I decide to try my life gets better. I meet (or just notice?) nice people who have nice things to say. I win a doggy dancing contest I have the chance to spend time with dear friends I get to see so rarely. I win a Best In Show! My kids behave better. My fiancee is more thoughtful, my mother finds positive things to call me about and I never see the neighbour that hates dogs anymore A coincidence? I really don’t care. Be it the law of attraction or just opening your mind to things that make you happy and closing it to the things that don’t- it does make a better happier life.